I’ve Changed, So What?

Over time we all change. Some for better, some for worse. I used to feel angry and disappointed with myself if someone told me that I’ve changed since high school, college or since they first met me. Instead, my response should have been, “I would hope so.” Who I am today is vastly different than who I was even 3 years ago. To some it might be a bad thing, while to others it’s for the better. But, at the end of the day, isn’t it about whether I’m happy or not?

I used to drink way too much and would actually pride myself on my ability to function at a high level after a night out. I lived for the weekends and then I lived for any chance to go out. I was the guy who had a great college experience. You could always find me at parties or at the bar. Most people will say that I was just young or immature and to a certain degree they are probably right. But I think it goes deeper than that.

A big thing that was missing from my life was honesty. Not towards anyone else, although I’ve definitely dropped the ball there as well, but mainly with myself. I never took the time to really figure out what it was that I wanted. I never tried to figure out what would make me happy. So, as a result, I ignored a lot of stuff. I would just live day to day and let future Cameron handle the rest. I would aim to please everyone around me and would often sideline my own unhappiness if I thought it would be upsetting to someone else. I would avoid conversations that I knew would be uncomfortable, both with other people and with myself. This led to me being lost. I struggled to find my way in life and what path I wanted to be on.

It was a little over a year ago that I first took a major step outside of my comfort zone and started my own website. I wanted to create a platform where I could share my ideas on life, training and anything in between. I also wanted a place to grow my personal brand. One of my intentions was to avidly write blogs to share what was on my mind. As I look back on the last year, I didn’t write nearly as much as I intended to. But, I did grow as a person and learned more than I can write in this blog. So, when I sat down today and wanted to write something to get back on track, I didn’t know where to start. After a conversation with one of our members,  I was reminded how difficult it is to see what sort of progress we’ve made when we look from day to day. Especially the progress that isn’t quantifiable. There are so many intangibles that often go unnoticed. Increasing your numbers on lifts or getting faster on workouts is one thing, but what about increasing your confidence? Enhancing your ability to have difficult conversations? Being happier?? Arguably, those are more important than hitting a PR on your back squat.

We all change and that’s not always a bad thing. Honing in on what you want and what makes you happy might not always sit well with everyone around you, but life isn’t about making sure that everyone else is happy while you’re not. We aren’t on this earth forever and to be selfish, honest and confident with ourselves should be a top priority. I’ve made countless mistakes throughout my life, I’ve had some highs and I’ve had  some lows, but everything up to this point has led me to where I am today. So, do I have everything figured out? Absolutely not. But, I am the happiest I’ve been and even the lessons that I am not very proud of have helped me discover which version of myself I like best. If I could go back and give 23 year old Cameron one piece of advice, it would be to be as honest with himself as possible; figure out what it is that makes you happy and pursue it. What would you tell yourself? #justtrynastayfit

2 thoughts on “I’ve Changed, So What?

    • Cameron Hudson says:

      Thanks, Brian! If we aren’t continually reflecting on our past and what we want for our future, we are missing out!
      -Cam

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